"What About Your Friends?"

Some people in life never realize a good thing until it goes away. Lets talk about friends. What constitutes a good friendship? I would say a slew of attributes, but essentially, friendships are based on love, loyalty, and compassion. My dad always said, "On your death bed, you will only have a handful of friends." That meant no more than five, literally.

Paps was way over my head at the time, but he knew in the end the lesson would soak in. A real friend is hard to come by. A fake friend seems like a real friend, but some variable exposes that said person. How many "friends" have you come by? Mind you, I'm speaking of best friends.

Don't we call a lot of our associates friends? But they're not. You know that really they are good associates. That's why on your deathbed they won't be there. I thought I had a best friend. But time and destiny proved different.

You can't be a best friend to someone when it's all about you. Selfishness destroys relationship along with pride and vanity. I admit I wasn't perfect in this instance but I know that I always had his best interest in mind. He on the other hand was wrapped up in him so much to where he really didn't genuinely care about most people he came by. It wasn't just me. He treated most like he did me (as if that eases the blow).

A true friend respects the love that the other one unleashes freely. Thus, he gives that same love right back. But when pride, vanity and selfishness kicks in-friendships go out the window. Things become awkward and misconstrued and one realizes that love has been set to the side.

So this blog is for all those that thought they had a best friend, but through time, pain, and circumstances, things changed. Thus, in the end, they lost a best friend. Keep your head up and thank God that it was revealed. And, affirm strongly that you will only invest time in people who really care about you. Settle for nothing less.

Understand Your Mind First

I came across a Pema Chodron clip on You Tube. She spoke of some very true facts. Most people start making adjustments to external phenomena, in order to bring some kind of "inner peace." Isn't it true? We eliminate, make additions, and adjust all of our worldly circumstances in the hopes that it will bring us what we want-happiness.

A classic example is money. Alot of us presume that a life with a significant amount of money can bring us happiness. However, money only solves financial problems. It does not cure personalities or character discrepancies.

Thus, we have to start working with our minds first. I agree 100 percent with this philosophy. Change the way you think and you will see that you can create your own happiness. There is no doubt that we might have to change our external phenomena.

You may need to find a new job since the current one is draining you. You might need to move. Perhaps your neighborhood is not healthy for you. But in the end, the mind is the fix to all pyschological glitches. Start there first and then clean house.

Guest Blogger Seth Pickens: Biggie Smalls-A Deeper Perspective

Biggie Smalls, 12 Years Later

“…the greatest rapper of all time died on March 9…” -Canibus

It’s already been 12 years to the day since Christopher Wallace, AKA The Notorious B.I.G., had his life cut short by the assassin’s bullet. When I first heard the news back in 1997, I didn’t really believe it. His new album had just dropped, and it was curiously called “Life After Death.” I sincerely thought it was a publicity stunt until I saw footage of real people mourning in the streets of Brooklyn.

I was only 19 at the time, and BIG was 24. Nineteen year olds look up to 24 year olds. By the time I turned 24, I realized just how young Biggie was to have lived so fully and died. (Tupac Shakur was only 25 when he was gunned down.)

When I reflect on Biggie and Pac’s lives and deaths, I take 2 lessons away. First, they teach us that you are never too young to pursue your dreams. They had the chance to grab the fame and all that came with it, and they took it. They followed their dreams. They didn’t say, “I’m only 19. I can’t be a platinum millionaire. I can’t rock a crowd. I’m too young.” They paid the ultimate price, but in the end, it’s better to die doing what you were meant to do than to live and just take up space.

The second thing these hip-hop greats have taught me is that you’re never too young to have people looking up to you. Like I said, when I was 19, I looked up to 25 year olds. Now I’m in my 30s; 25 year olds come to me for advice, and many 19 year olds see me as more of a father-figure than a big brother. You ever see how a second grader looks up to the “big kids” in 8th grade? There’s always someone looking up to you

On this anniversary of BIG’s unfortunate demise, let’s remember the power to influence we all have. Follow someone who inspires you and more importantly, use your power and influence to truly make things better. You never know who is watching.

Permissibility: It's the hip hop way...

So hopefully you realize if you are married or have a girlfriend, the only way you could throw a party with 40 naked women wearing masquerade masks is in your dreams. However, in hip-hop, things as such are permissible.

I know, I know, Kanye keeps popping up in my blog real, but what can I say? He stays on the edge and in the press.

So yes, Rapbasement.com reported:
"Kanye and Beecroft previously worked together for Kanye's "808s & Heartbreak" release party that included 40 naked women with face masks and illuminating fluorescent lights." Hmm. Sounds like alot of fun. I just don't know if it's good or bad fun. I wonder what his girl thought? I wonder was she there? And in the words of Kanye, if she wasn't there "I wonder, do you know, what it means?

But then again, It's Kanye, a bonafide hip-hop don. He has the superhero strength to resist the bait of lust in moments like this. Out of his own mouth he said:

"I'm a star, how could I not shine

How many ladies in the house

How many ladies in the house without a spouse,
Something in your blouse got me feeling so aroused"

Well we know there were at least 40! How could you not be aroused? Can you imagine the 20 questions he got if his lady wasn't at the party when he got home? Would a reasonable man be faithful under such a predicament? In the end, charge that to the game. It's permissible in the world of hip-hop.

Amy Winehouse: The Disadvantages of the Fast Lane

Alright,
Honestly, I think Amy Winehouse's constance presence in the media is sad. Whats even more sad is her constant battle with drugs and violence. Yet again, Amy has been charged with assault for allegedly attacking a dancer/fan who simply wanted to take a picture with her. Amy, subsequently, turned herself in and was arrested. Her court date is March 17th (in London) for all those pulling for her.

Whats unfortunate is Amy recognizes she has a problem. It is fact that she has been in and out of rehab), but like many Americans, she's an addict.
In fact, she just came from a two month vacation in the Carribean with the intention to get her act together. From crack to rehab, her actions sway like a pendulum. And as much as I want to humor you, it's really not funny...

Moreover, Amy is old enough to know the effects of hard drugs like crack and her other weapons of choice. Here in America, we had no excuse. Even when we were little, it only took 11 seconds to figure it out. In America, the late 70's babies remember this commercial. To bad Amy lived overseas. Perhaps her life would have been totally different if she saw what her brain actually is doing when she hits that pipe.


Click here for the official story:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/entertainment/news/article.cfm?c_id=1501119&objectid=10560461

Lil Kim: Dancing with the stars

Well,

Just wanted to let you know that Little Kim is opting to participate in the "Dancing with the Stars" network television program. I'm all for it. Here's some cool reasons why:

1. What better way to show off her plastic surgery.

2. She confesses, "When I was in prison, me and my girls use to watch it." That's fine Kim. My only fear is what do you and your girls do if you were aroused by what you saw? Please, no broom sticks.

3. Let me guess: You'll hit the show, get your notoriety back up, and then...Drop an album. I see it a mile away. Cool, just make sure it's hot or I'll be talking about it.

4. Don't they pay you to learn how to dance?

5. Kim admits she doesn't know how to dance like that- riding the pole and lap dances don't count. If she makes it, her future man will be overwhelmed when Kim can hold it down at a gentlemen's club and a formal dance event all in one night. Classic.

6. Lawrence Taylor will be on the show. So long as he is still free from his former cocain habit, he won't pulvarize her on the dance floor like his linebacking days (smooth off a line of coke) while attempting to do something fancy on the dance floor. That could mean more plastic surgery. Oh boy!

Click here to see more on Little Kim's return to the entertainment scene.
http://www.rapbasement.com/lil-wayne/030509-lil-kim-talks-about-being-the-dancing-with-the-stars-television-show.html

Diamonds Start as Coal-The 10% Advantage

It is very rare for a human beings' character to receive a "total makeover" overnight. After all, as human beings, we reap what we sow. All of our character, good or bad, is a composite of 1)How we were raised, 2)the decisions we make, 3)how we react to our decisions, and 4)how we react to various life circumstances sometimes out of our control. Therefore, it is safe say that one can not simply change overnight.

Moreover, I want to change. But it's overwhelming when I objectively look at it. I can be extremely selfish at times and lose all compassion for others in an instant. My pride often explodes like a brand new flavor from Starburst. Sometimes I'm so attached to insignificant factors in life, I don't even consider that I need to detach. How do I began to chip away at this toxic coal?

I'll tell you how. Little by little. Perfection comes in degrees and it's been proven. Think of how great athletes evolve. They normally initiate their career wanting to be the best but they soon realize they have more attributes to develop in order to change into the athlete they desire to be. There coach, having more experience and foreseeability, usually points out their faults and begins to show them how they can become better. The athlete then begins implementing new drills and practice routines that will make his current performance better. He chips away at his goal little by little until his performance reaches an apex. He just doesn't show up the next day to the gym an entirely different player.

The truth of the matter is it's down right easier and borderline ingenious. Bit by bit you begin to give 10% each day to something you want to change. Since it's only 10% percent, you don't feel the pressure as you normally would, as opposed to completely coming out of your cocoon in one day. As the Tibetan Master Sakyong Rinponche mentions, we begin to work with our positive qualities and become more familiar with them. This invokes a spirit of love that can be transmitted to others. Finally, it's stops us from getting frustrated and going immediately back to our habitual habits. Take the time to listen to this theory from a Master. I've also included a clip of Michael Jordan subscribing to the same theory. "Improve your weaknesses until they become strengths [a process], and improve your strengths so you don't have anymore weaknesses." Well said Mike. Enjoy!

Leaving Your Mark: If you don't do it, who will?

Last night, Mad Mardigan, founder of the only current hip-hop night in Tallahassee partied with us for possibly the last time. He's on his way to Kentucky for a permanent move. But he left his mark here and hip-hop artist in Tallahassee should be ever grateful to him for starting a local hip-hop movement.

Alot of people think making a mark has to be this illustrious demonstration of brilliance that rubs off on the people in their circle (or outside of their circle). But maybe we've complicated the idea of leaving a mark. If everyone looks out for their fellow brotherman/women, and truly shows compassion in their actions, does that not constitute leaving a mark?

Not everyone can be Michael Jordan, Barack Obama or Benjamin Franklin. However, the simple things in life are underated. Things like saying thank you, going the extra mile for someone, being noble and fair, being honest and just...can't we leave are mark this way?

Well if Mardigan can do it-so can you. Sometimes people who have conquored extraordinary feats cloud are judgement on our own being. Chogyam Trungpa, a late Tibetan Lama, states "When you hear of someone who possesses remarkable qualities, you regard him or her as a significant being and yourself as insignificant.The continual comparing and selecting generates a never-ending procession of desires." I concur with such a statment.

Essentially, we have to remove the pressure that we place on ourselves. I remember my dad would always tell me that if you don't surpass what I've done, you've failed. Perhaps he used it as a motivational tool, but it also can create a dangerous pyschological paradox in which one feels that they must either surpass the feats their parents accomplished or accept failure.

The fact is God gives us all that we need to be the best at who we are. When we point to someone else and say that's my hero, it infers that we lack something. The truth of the matter is we don't.

So today, make up your mind to make a mark. You have everything it takes to do so and it doesn't have to include breaking a record,making history or being famous. Start with your family, move your way to your friends, and even to your associates. Recognize your worth and continue to act in a manner that shows people their worth. I'll miss Mardigan, but he left his mark in this town. He will always be remembered by a select group of hip-hop artist in Tallahassee for revitalizing local hip-hop. Moreover, the way he treated us was just and fair. We've made making a mark to complicated. He made his and all he did was stay true to himself. We'll miss you Mardigan.