I wanted to blog tonight, so I said what the heck-let's do a spin off my last blog about jungle fever. I stumbled across a clip on YouTube that had some pretty interesting takes on interracial dating (black and white). And honestly, I like the sista to the right in this clip. As she put it firmly, "We (black women) don't have enough black men for us to go around."
Well honestly folks, she's right. I don't want to bog you down with the statistics. I don't want to talk about the disparate treatment America's criminal justice system hands down to the Asiatic male. Couple that with men who are already in relationships and homosexuals, and it's easily understandable why it's difficult for a sista to find a brotha these days.
Now, whats interesting is when the host asks the European women why she prefers blacks, she exclaims, "it's the shade of their skin." Ahhhhhh, we were just talking about this on Thursday weren't we. It's the good ole don't eat that one cookie in the cookie jar kind of set up! Man it's an undeniable taboo and atleast this women was honest enough to admit it. I bet as soon as she got out her parent's house, her dating radar immediately fixed on the dark shaded brothers.
"... The other thing, of course, is that White women get into relationships with Black men because they think the sex is going to be better."
- Dennis Rodman
I personally feel it's easier to acquire a white women. I've dealt with several in my lifetime. They all were cool, crazy submissive, and all but one treated me like I was a king that just touched down to the states. More specifically, I dated a white women in 98 and remembered thinking, "This is to easy." I tell ya, I had a free pass on back massages and money, to name a few of the benefits I can mention. Essentially, I was culture shocked.
But brothers should listen up and take heed. Sistas are really getting desperate right now. I talked to my cubicle buddy a few weeks ago about this very same subject. She agreed with the sister on the right and she's at a ripe age of 25 years old. Yeah (paraphrasing her), there are brothers out their, but what noble women wants a man with his pants hanging on his knees? Couple that with his cheezy pick up line, and any good women would have already rejected him before he got halfway into his spill.
There are a lot of good sistas available fellas, more than you can imagine. But most of them are waiting on you to get your game tight. Maybe you need new role models? I mean, honestly guys, maybe Lil Wayne isn't the best person to look up to in terms of macking to a women. After all, he wishes he could "f___" every girl in the world. Oh yeah, same for Drake to.
As a race, we need a generation of brothers to rise up in character and recognize a queen when they see one. We need brothas who aren't afraid to rescue their black queen from the dumb, deaf and blindness that this western society subjects us to. We need brothers to lead sistas spiritually and economically. We need sharp, educated brothers who are willing to take on a single mother and her kids.
Now, when those brothers start popping up, and they marry a white women-how does it help the plight of the African-American race or culture? Truth of the matter is, it doesn't. Okay, I'm done with my digression.
What an interesting clip! I'll agree that some black women do turn to interracial dating because of a perceived lack of "good black men." I know there are good black men out there...I've got several in my family. I do think it's hard for women in general to find a good man, but purely from a numbers perspective, I think it's harder for black women who only want to date black men. I'm not knocking it...it's preference and one I can definitely understand. But as you pointed out, when you look at the number of black men in jail, in homosexual relationships or in relationships with non-black women, that does lower the eligible pool of black men period. And for professional/educated black women, I think that pool is even smaller since black women are now outpacing black men in higher education.
ReplyDeleteI think you're absolutely right: perhaps Lil Wayne and Drake aren't the best role models to follow. I know when I get approached by a guy (regardless of race) with his pants down to his knees spitting cheesy lines with poor grammar, I walk the other way. Snobby? Perhaps, but my parents taught me the importance of neatness and education, neither of which is displayed in the current crop of rappers-as-role-models. Sigh, too many black women are becoming tired of this emulation and turning to interracial dating as a solution to their problem of "bad black men." But what they don't seem to get is there are "bad men" in any race. Switching to dating a different race doesn't mean a person stops attracting losers.
On the flip side of the whole interracial dating question, you also have black women whose reasons for dating interracially have nothing to do with numbers or statistics. For example, I went to a racially mixed school from the 4th grade (including college and grad school). In high school especially, since most of us had gone to school together since a young age, we had a level of comfort interacting with other races that you don't see at a lot of schools that are majority one race. Interracial dating wasn't such a big deal and I had friends in high school who were in interracial relationships... at my senior prom their were several interracial couples of pretty much any combination you can think of.
Sorry for the long post...the whole interracial dating topic, especially as it pertains to black women, always gets me going! Anyhoo, just my two cents!
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ReplyDeleteGreat feed back. I promise I will revisit this issue again. Overall, I think brothers need to smell the coffee. There are all kinds of different shades of brown to choose from, but brothers have to realize that with a successful relationship comes a successful man. In the same sense, like you mentioned, sistas have to realize that finding a good man is an arduous task for all women. The difficulty sisters encounter is the lack of eligible bachelors of the same race. It's much easier for a sista to snag a white male. All I can say is hold on sistas. Don't give up just yet!
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